the anatomy of a tantrum: aka why the barnes and noble kids section should not be free range

Pre kids Justin and I were convinced that our future children would never act like monsters in public. Even after having the girls and with multiple successful outings under our belts we would exchange glances when we saw other people's children in full on beast mode and whisper "aren't you glad our girls aren't like that?"

Well fast forward to the terrible twos. Our outings have become brief and infrequent. The girls no longer are content sitting in their stroller as we wander the aisles of target. I should have taken that as a sign, but I thought today would be different.

So I decided to go to barnes and noble. Without the stroller.

Our outing started out positively lovely. There was only one high chair, but Audrey sat nicely in the regular chair. The girls said please, thank you, and you are welcome as we discussed if we preferred red velvet cupcakes or triple chocolate cookies.

After we finished our treats, I decided to go check out the kids section against my better judgement. 

It started out quite nice actually, with the girls showing me different books and toys and putting them back. The spent some time playing with the legos too. Then Claire decided that she was going to run. And then Audrey ran too, but in the opposite direction. I used what can only be described as a herd dog technique to get them in the same general vicinity. Then Claire decided she wanted more treats, so I was able to grab them both n their way up the stairs. Exhausted, I just wanted to put their safety harnesses on and get out the door. But Claire managed to break loose. She giggled and ran up to the front of the store. Looking like a crazy person, I positioned myself on the floor and did a bit of a tackle maneuver, got them both leased and ready to go. Mind you this was in the very front of the store. In front of everyone, high school kids; sweet old ladies, you name it. Which I why I think the kids section should be fenced in. That way the epic tantrum would only be seen by other parents. Ones who could relate. Or judge me silently. But I digress.

Now we were ready to make our way out the door. Twin toddlers, their overwhelmed mother, and two sips of a venti chai tea latte. In hindsight, I should have just thrown away my tea in the store, but that would have meant 1. finding a garbage can an 2. throwing away $0.23. So I did what any respectable mother would do in that situation and let Audrey carry it.

I'm not sure if you've ever tried carrying two tantruming toddlers, but I imagine it is akin to walking around with a 60 pound octopus. We made it out to the parking lot where a sweet man was walking in with his wife and 2 orderly children and commented that I needed an extra set of hands. Yes sir, I do... Is that an offer? 

Justin was just telling me the other night how he thinks twins are soooo much easier than two different aged kids. Clearly he has never attempted to take them out in public alone. At least a baby could be strapped to my person (hmm... perhaps I could try wearing Claire?)

We made it home, with some dignity inact (only because I'm not a yeller). After we were all inside the house, Audrey gave me the biggest unprovoked hug. As if to say "thank you for taking us out for a treat, sorry we were so wild".

Hmmm, perhaps we should go to the mall tomorrow?